“If you don’t become the ocean, you will be seasick every day” by Leonard Cohen 

I love metaphors, and this one about the ocean has been a powerful source of strength for me as a mom and today I will tell you the secret to staying grounded, even in life’s storms. Navigating the unpredictable waves of raising a child with chronic health and teenage challenges, I find this quote a reminder to accept life’s changes rather than fighting them.

Unpredictable waves causing “seasickness”

To me, “becoming the ocean” means embracing the unpredictability and complexities of my child’s needs. Instead of feeling tossed by each wave of worry, I do my best to stay grounded—though I’m a work in progress.

When I felt “seasick” from the uncertainties and the secret to staying grounded, even in life’s storms

One example was the transition back to school after my daughter’s long hospitalization. Each day, I felt dread after I dropped her off on the morning car line. Would I get a call from the school about a health issue? Would I find her upset at the end of her day because friendships have shifted or because she was so behind in school?  The uncertainty filled me with dread because I wanted to protect her from any pain and didn’t like feeling so helpless.

Eventually, I realized my role wasn’t to fix every challenge but to allow her (and myself) to feel the sadness and uncertainty that comes with major changes. Just allowing those emotions—who knew it could bring so much calm? Even now, as I write this, I find myself taking a deep breath.

Trying to control every challenge left me unsteady, drained, and “seasick.” But by “becoming the ocean,” I found a way to let go and ground myself in the vastness of patience and resilience.

Vastness of the ocean representing peace, grounding, patience and resilience

Ocean depths as a metaphor for wisdom 

This metaphor also speaks to the wisdom passed down through generations. By “becoming the ocean,” I feel connected to mothers before me, drawing on a deep well of patience and insight. The ocean holds calm even when the surface is turbulent; tapping into this timeless wisdom helps me find grace amid the chaos. Embracing our “ocean depths,” we’re not just surviving the waves—we’re part of an enduring force. And we’re not alone. We draw strength from the generations of mothers before us.

If you’d like to hear more about how I managed the uncertainty of my daughter’s rare disease diagnosis, watch my TEDx talk.

If you’d like to learn more about managing the uncertainties of being a mom and how to develop resilience in the face of uncertainty, let’s talk. Book your free consultation with me. Let’s talk.